Are You Happy?

Design by H/34, Alex Koplin. www.h34dup.com

Design by H/34, Alex Koplin. http://www.h34dup.com

Like many people, you probably consider yourself a smart, hard-working and caring person that does their best every day. Things seem to be going pretty well, except for the issue(s) that brings you here, seeking a little help.

  • Maybe you’ve tried talking to friends, or read a self-help book or two (or more), but realize there is still something missing.
  • Perhaps you know what to do, but you get in your own way. Or family and friends aren’t able to provide unbiased, smart advice on what you need to do to get relief form your struggles.
  • You might need help making some changes so you can get on with your life.
  • You want a private place to do some reflection and create a strategy in how to move forward – with a kind and experienced coach.

Counseling may seem a bit scary at first, especially if you’ve never tried it before. My goal is to make the process safe, inviting and successful in helping you make changes in your life.  I see the transformation every day in my office and want that change to happen for you too.

I help people with:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety and Stress
  • Relationship Problems (of all kinds)
  • Coping with Grief and Loss
  • Recovering from Divorce or Break-up
  • Initiating Changes
  • Dealing with Big Changes that Life has Dropped in Your Lap

I offer:

 

The Trauma of Parenthood

0629GRAY-superJumboThe Trauma of Parenthood

We need more time to rest and play!

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Hit the Reset Button in Your Brain

AUG. 9, 2014

Read the full article here

Teen’s Lack of Sleep May Contribute to Depression

Teenagers' sleep patterns may be a clue to their risk of depression.

Teens are notoriously confounding to their parents, especially their mood swings. This interesting article from NPR sheds light on the relationship between lack of sleep and depression in teens. It also explores the role of media and teen moods.

Here’s an excerpt:

Teenagers who don’t get enough sleep are four times as likely to develop major depressive disorder as their peers who sleep more, according to researchers at the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston. They tracked the habits of more than 4,000 adolescents over a year.

And already depressed teens were four times as likely to lose sleep. “That’s a pretty strong reciprocal relationship,” says behavioral scientist , the study’s lead author.

A lot of adolescents just aren’t getting as much sleep at they should. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention nine to 10 hours, but 70 percent of high schoolers don’t meet that requirement

In a second study, researchers in Sweden found that lack of sleep and excessive media use were associated with mental health problems in teens.”

Here’s a link to the full story: http://goo.gl/30lQgo

One of the Reasons Work is So Stressful

This NY Times article sheds light on a new study about the detrimental effect of working in a noisy environment. Its an interesting read and food for thought for those that work in an open office setting. Finding a way to quiet the noise can reduce your stress and mental fatigue on a daily basis.

Read the full article here.

Reducing Confusion and Stress in Tech Purchases

https://humannaturecounseling.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/3057c-bigstock-confused-man-and-question-mark-5298488.jpgThis very helpful article from the NY Times, How to Survive the Next Wave of Technology Extinction clarifies how to makes good tech choices to avoid future problems from buying products or services that will soon be obsolete. I think it’s a stress reducer because it streamlines your research in figuring out what to buy in terms of: hardware, media, and file storage.

Long story made short:

  • Buy Apple hardware.
  • Buy your media via Amazon.
  • Use Google tools and cloud storage.
  • Use on connectors such as DropBox and EVernote.

See? Isn’t that easy?

Listening to Women – It’s Not About the Nail

This funny video brilliantly illustrates how many men feel when talking with women. For me, the moral of the story is:

Guys: it’s not about the nail, it’s about how they feel about the nail.
Girls: Once you’ve been heard by your guy, fix the nail problem. Seriously. Fix

Need help working on your relationship’s communication skills? Contact me to set up an appointment.

Video by Jason Headly.  Learn more about him at: jasonheadley.com

How Alchohol Effects Your Brain

Food for thought for people who want to to know how things work. This short video shows what happens at the neurological level when you drink alcohol.

 

Click image to play.

Crown of Gaia

Northern lights as seen from space. Photo by NASA.

what northern lights look like from space by NASA crfown of gaia

How to Land Your Kid in Therapy

Why the obsession with our kids’ happiness may be dooming them to unhappy adulthoods. A therapist and mother reports.

The Atlantic has a fascinating article on the current trend of parents doing far too much for their children, and doing severe damage to their kids as a result. It looks at the value of letting kids feel frustrated, scared, devastated, lonely, bored, a sense of failure…and then letting them see that they can survive these normal feelings that are part of life. When we let our kids develop coping skills, they have a better chance of becoming functional, and content, adults.

Here’s an excerpt:

“Dan Kindlon, a child psychologist and lecturer at Harvard, warns against what he calls our “discomfort with discomfort” in his book Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age. If kids can’t experience painful feelings, Kindlon told me when I called him not long ago, they won’t develop “psychological immunity.”

“It’s like the way our body’s immune system develops,” he explained. “You have to be exposed to pathogens, or your body won’t know how to respond to an attack. Kids also need exposure to discomfort, failure, and struggle. I know parents who call up the school to complain if their kid doesn’t get to be in the school play or make the cut for the baseball team. I know of one kid who said that he didn’t like another kid in the carpool, so instead of having their child learn to tolerate the other kid, they offered to drive him to school themselves. By the time they’re teenagers, they have no experience with hardship. Civilization is about adapting to less-than-perfect situations, yet parents often have this instantaneous reaction to unpleasantness, which is ‘I can fix this.’”

Wendy Mogel is a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles who, after the publication of her book The Blessing of a Skinned Knee a decade ago, became an adviser to schools all over the country. When I talked to her this spring, she said that over the past few years, college deans have reported receiving growing numbers of incoming freshmen they’ve dubbed “teacups” because they’re so fragile that they break down anytime things don’t go their way. “Well-intentioned parents have been metabolizing their anxiety for them their entire childhoods,” Mogel said of these kids, “so they don’t know how to deal with it when they grow up.”

Which might be how people like my patient Lizzie end up in therapy. “You can have the best parenting in the world and you’ll still go through periods where you’re not happy,” Jeff Blume, a family psychologist with a busy practice in Los Angeles, told me when I spoke to him recently. “A kid needs to feel normal anxiety to be resilient. If we want our kids to grow up and be more independent, then we should prepare our kids to leave us every day.”

But that’s a big if. Blume believes that many of us today don’t really want our kids to leave, because we rely on them in various ways to fill the emotional holes in our own lives. Kindlon and Mogel both told me the same thing. Yes, we devote inordinate amounts of time, energy, and resources to our children, but for whose benefit?

“We’re confusing our own needs with our kids’ needs and calling it good parenting,” Blume said, letting out a sigh. I asked him why he sighed. (This is what happens when two therapists have a conversation.) “It’s sad to watch,” he explained. “I can’t tell you how often I have to say to parents that they’re putting too much emphasis on their kids’ feelings because of their own issues. If a therapist is telling you to pay less attention to your kid’s feelings, you know something has gotten way of out of whack.”

See the full article here: http://goo.gl/k7SzK

Value of Exercise

Another good reminder. It’s simple and free.  See the video here: goo.gl/yTPzCy